Episode 79 - Transcript - Who Am I, Now? - Solo

By Michael Rhodes | September 13, 2022

This is a transcription of Episode 79.  The transcription was done by software, apologies for anything that seems out of whack. A link to the episode is below.

Michael 0:00
Hello, and welcome to the show. This is episode 79 is going to be a solo episode where I discuss the topic of identity. I apologize for the lack of episodes lately, I took a little bit of a break from looking for and scheduling out guests. This summer had me pretty busy, and I just needed to take a little bit of a breather. So I apologize. And I thank you for your patience. On that note, if you are enjoying the podcast, in whatever format you’re listening, or viewing, or whatever, if you could like and subscribe and review and comment and rate and all that kind of good shit. They say that that helps other folks see the podcast, I don’t know if that’s true, I do know that it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside when people give me good feedback. So if you could do that, I would appreciate it, my ego would definitely appreciate it. So let’s dive into the topic of identity. When we first begin this process when papers are served, or when she leaves or when we’re told that she has done our world crumbles it, it burns down whatever kind of description you want to use who you are, is, is no more it ceases. And it can be a real struggle to then redefine yourself, who am I? Where am I going? What am I doing? What is my purpose, I had these plans this, this vision of a future I was going to retire with this person, we were going to raise children together whatever that that sort of dream or blueprint, if you will, that you had for yourself is gone, it’s been crumbled up, it’s been burnt down again, whatever scenario you want to use. So one of the challenges, maybe maybe the challenge in some way is to redefine yourself. But it’s also an opportunity. It’s not just that who I am is no longer clear. It’s also I have an opportunity to decide Coleen completely, who I’m going to be. And during this process, I think it’s really good to challenge the assumptions you have about yourself that the world has placed upon you from your, from your childhood parents that raised you, maybe you were told, Well, you’re not very athletic, or, or you’re not really, you’re, you’re shy, or you’re introverted, or whatever, I think you have an opportunity to say, fuck that and challenge some of these things and, and really discover who you are takes advantage, the opportunity to take some leaps of faith, if you will try new things to try and really determine who am I? And the best way to answer that, I think is through through actions through through trying through, through being curious about who you are now, because I think for the longest time, especially depending on the length of your marriage, you were shaped by that or the person, you know, you didn’t go for me, I’ll give you an example. I didn’t go to Mexican restaurants or even Chinese with her. Because that’s not what she liked. And you know, forget about like trying other things like Thai food or whatever any kind of other type of ethnic type of foods. She she wasn’t having it. So I started to try Thai food. And I’m like, fuck, this is really good. And so I discovered that I really love that. And there’s other things, not just food. But I discovered that once I had a lot of free time, I was like, I’m going to try yoga bucket. And I really, really enjoyed yoga. And there’s other things that I’m going to try and to continue to be curious about who I am and to try and redefine who I am. Obviously doing this podcast has been a huge step in defining who I am. And I encourage you to do things like this. This, for me, was scary. It was I didn’t know fuck all about it. Number one. I mean, I knew that he talked and things of that nature. But I had no idea about the technology behind it. I mean, I’m a bit of a techie, but I just didn’t know and and it was scary and unknown. And that wasn’t part of my identity. This is not what I did, you know, two and a half years ago, but here I am now 79 episodes in. listened to and over. I think it’s 88 countries are some shit something just fucking mind blowing ly crazy.

But if I wouldn’t have been curious if I wouldn’t have been open, if I wouldn’t have tried to find about you know who I am. And what do I really want to do with my life? I would have stayed stuck, I would have stayed a lot of things, sad, depressed, angry, bitter, all of these things. I decided at some point and it was probably due to the alpha code. And I’m also going to have some future episodes about my own coaching program. And I’ll get to that and in future episodes a little bit of a teaser, I suppose. But I decided I didn’t want to live with regrets and that’s actually part of who I am. Who I’ve always been that’s why I joined the United States Navy. Because at 20 years old, I was long hair, drinking smoking pot like snorting anything, I had no interest in that kind of a life. Like, that was not my identity. But I remember saying to myself, even at 20 years old, I guess I had a little bit of a quarter life crisis, I said, I don’t want to look back and wish I would have, I don’t want to have regrets. I don’t want to be at and go, Fuck, I wish I would have joined the Navy. And so I did it. Again, I took a leap of faith if you want, or I just said, Fuck it. I don’t want to look back and regret. And I think that same spirit, that same desire applies today. And it’s served me very, very, very well. I’ve made connections and learn things, and grown because I said, bucket. I don’t want regrets. I don’t want to live and look back when I’m 90 or 80, or what the fuck ever, whenever they hopefully Elon Musk can figure out how to make us live forever. needs to get on that. Buckle that Twitter nonsense. But I whenever that time comes whenever I’m laid up somewhere, and all I can do is reminisce, I want to think back on how I took this opportunity and grabbed it, and seized it, and redefined who I am based on what I fucking want. Not not what other anyone else wants. I’m sure that there are people in in my sphere, that once they saw this probably chuckled or said, Oh, that’ll last. We’re coming up on two years. And you know, it’s not always comfortable to toot your own horn, but I’m fucking killing it with this thing. I’m the growth is been amazing. And thank you. Oh, by the way, thank you all for listening and for supporting and commenting and believing in me, I guess, really? You wouldn’t continue to listen, if that weren’t the case. So So I thank you, but this sincerely, but if I hadn’t decided, fuck that old identity, who am I going to be? What am I going to do? That’s a game changer. Once you can get to that place. And I know it’s not easy. We hold on to the past because it’s familiar and it’s, it’s safe. It’s what we knew. It’s what we who we were, it’s it was it’s it is, it’s safe. That’s been pulled out from under us, it’s been burnt down. Whatever description you want to use. That vision of the future that you had, is no more. And we can, we can try to hold on. We’ll be unsuccessful. But the way to truly move forward, and there are many aspects to this, there are other things, but identity is such a huge part of it. Because then when you identify in certain ways, you can do certain things. So if you were for say, for instance, you were a an introvert, right? I don’t really like public speaking, let’s just say that. And you decide, You know what, fuck that. I’m gonna go to Toastmasters. And take, I’m gonna go there and try and work on being a public speaker. And turns out you fucking love it. Or maybe you’ve been told all your life, you’re not athletic. And you say fuck that, and you hit the gym and you get in shape. And then you start playing. I keep hearing about fucking pickleball I haven’t played it, but I hear it’s really fucking fun. And then you find this thing that you love this thing that you become passionate about. And it never would have occurred, if you would have had to have stayed stuck, where you were trying to hold on to a past into a future that is no longer possible.

So take that leap of faith. Believe in yourself. There are things that you are good at, or you’re not even fucking aware of yet. So take this opportunity, embrace it. I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. I know that you might not be in a place right now where you’re even hearing what the fuck I’m saying because you’re so distraught, and downtrodden. And if that’s the case, then put this sort of on hold. There are other things you can do. But eventually once you start healing just a little bit. Start viewing this as an opportunity to redefine yourself the way that you want. Not anyone When else, not her, not your parents, your friends, family, you, period. That’s all I got was just a quick one, I really wanted to speak to this because there’s actually at a, an alpha code workshop meeting last night and there was a new student and he was talking about. He’s going through a breakup and he was talking about how, you know, he doesn’t know where to go from here, he had all these plans of, you know, we were going to do this and we were going to do that. And his identity is wrapped up in in the We, and it’s very normal and very natural. But now, the identity has to shift to an eye to me. So once you make that shift, you can start making great strides in your healing. And not only just healing but also growing and thriving, after this shitty, unwanted present that we’ve all been given. So that’s it. That’s all I got. Until next time, take care yourselves and take care of each other. Much love

Episode 79 – Who Am I, Now? – Solo

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