Episode 83 - Transcript - Coach? - Solo

By Michael Rhodes | October 20, 2022

This is a transcription of Episode 83.  The transcription was done by software, apologies for anything that seems out of whack. A link to the episode is below.

Michael 0:00
Hello, and welcome to the show. This is episode 83. This is going to be a solo episode with me discussing my coaching program. So before we dive into what that is what that means, let’s talk about the why, why am I doing this? Now? What What am I doing? Probably more specifically to start with. So I’m going to start coaching men, I have been coaching men, I’m going to open it up and offer it out to all of you. But let’s cover the why first, and then we’ll get into the details of the what and the why is.

So my first reason for starting this podcast, my initial reason, at least in my head, when I started thinking about doing it was getting my name out there so I could coach men. And the more I got involved with

support groups, and the more I saw the pain of men,

my focus sort of shifted, and I wanted to make this podcast a resource for those men. I felt like I could

maybe reach more people that way, or who also just fucking loved it and love it. So my initial reason was to get my name out there to coach men. That’s, that’s what I wanted to do, because I wanted to use this shitty experience of divorce.

As a, or I wanted to find meaning or reason. And I felt like if I could coach men through it, then that gave me a reason. Because otherwise, I wasn’t seeing a reason. And you know, sometimes I still struggle with seeing a reason. Because mainly of my kids, I don’t, honestly, I

get, I don’t really give a shit about her anymore. It’s I mean, I don’t I don’t think I hate her anymore. But I just don’t, I’m very much

on the on the cusp of or at indifference. It’s kind of where I’m at. That’s not where I want to stay, I want to get to forgiveness, honestly, not for her, but for me.

But this shit is still hard. So

I want to help men through that. And,

and really, the reason we got to this point, I’ve gotten to this point now at this point is I had some troubles, let’s say with my current job. And

I sort of felt like I was probably on the chopping block. And so I started thinking about, what do I really want to do, because I don’t particularly care for what I do. It’s okay pays the bills and all that good stuff. But

I started thinking about what I really want to do. And I just want to stay in this space, I want to help men, I want to do this podcast, I want to run the website, I want to start up local groups, I want to build this network for divorced men.

But I can’t do that as well. If I have another full time job that takes my focus away, I do the best I can.

Balancing having a full time job being a father and finding guests interviewing, editing, all the stuff that goes with it. And then of course, moderating the divorce support group on Facebook, creating local groups, all the things that I’m trying to do.

I could do that much, much better if I was only doing that.

But realistically, there’s not one thing that I could do, at least I don’t think so that would allow me to do it for a living. I couldn’t just do the podcast, I don’t think I’m making a tiny bit of money from ads now which you’ll hear from time to time, but they are hit and miss in terms of the ability to even

accept the ads or approve the ads. I don’t when they first launched it. So Buzzsprout is the host. They This is when I upload a an episode I upload, load it to Buzzsprout. And then they push it out to all the other Apple and Spotify wherever you’re listening. I don’t upload it to that I upload it to Buzzsprout. And they put it out. And so Buzzsprout started a an ad program. And you could opt in and they would play ads on your podcast if you met a certain threshold. And unfortunate enough to say that I met that threshold and then they will pay you honestly I think it was like 14 cents of listen or whatever or so every time you listen to an episode and you hear an ad. It’s 18 cents goes in my account. I never made enough to Well, I think one month I made enough to pay the bill. So I pay Buzzsprout certain amount every month and I think one month I was able to pay that bill with just the ads. But that has kind of dried up for various reasons. I think there was excited

Going around the program when it launched, and maybe it hasn’t been successful for people, I don’t know. But the options, the available ads for me to choose, have pretty well dried up. So I’m probably in but as this thing grows, there is a possibility that I could do my own ads with certain I know that lawyers but the mediator Isaac from whatever the fuck episode that was he and I’ve had some discussions he’s considering possibly doing ads on the podcast. And there as I grow, there will be an availability for that, but it’s not going to make six figures, at least I think so I would have to have

a lot of fucking downloads. And I think I do pretty well. And sometimes it blows my mind. And I can’t wait till the end of the year to I had a certain goal for this year. And I am I am past that. And I can’t wait to announce like what has occurred this year in terms of growth and listenership. It’s pretty fucking awesome and amazing, but it’s still fun enough to pay the bills. And that’s okay. I didn’t start it for that. But my point is, I’m trying to if I’m trying to live in this realm where all I do is help men get through divorce, get through divorce, then I have to do certain other things. So part of it is the podcast, and eventually there will be ads. I think that will help pay the bills, enough to pay all the bills. No, definitely not. So then the other piece of that is the website divorce men’s network.com. I can run ads on there. I’ve had significant trouble setting it up with Google. I have

gotten some money for those ads, but very, very, very little and I can’t keep it running. I don’t know why they’re plugin for WordPress. WordPress is

not the host. It’s

the designer. I guess it’s Well, I mean, I designed everything myself, but Well, I take that back in life.

Shout out the and did all this designing most of the designing of the website. But WordPress, I guess kind of hosts it but not Not really. I don’t know how to explain it because I’m not a fucking web guy. But But anyway, the plugin that I guess the interface, maybe the plugin that Google has for WordPress to use on websites fucking sucks, I’ve had to uninstall it a few times it crashes the website. So I’ve had some significant problems there. But eventually I will get that up and running. And there will be some revenue coming from ads on the website. And there will be more stuff in the future in terms of blog posts, I hope.

You know, obviously, the podcast is always here, the transcripts are always there. I’m going to go back at some point to and rerelease some episodes not

on here, as in, you know, Episode 50 to rerelease or whatever, but I’ll do blog posts and put out transcripts and also put them up on YouTube. Some of the older ones, I’m gonna reach out to some folks and see if they’re okay with me putting there because

up until that point, I was only I would record video, but I wouldn’t ever use it. Because I didn’t, I didn’t have any intention. So, you know, eventually that became something I wanted to do. But so I’m gonna go back but I had to ask permission of some folks to make sure that they’re okay with me using video at this point, and some won’t be and that’s okay. And I have to figure that out. And there’s also solo episodes where I didn’t do what I’m doing now recording this on video, I just did audio. So

I had to figure out something for that. But that’s another part of the plan is to rerelease some episodes so anyway, the divorce men’s network.com will always be sort of a hub of things, especially the local groups, it’s going to change I don’t know if anyone has noticed but all the local group plans has completely changed it was going to be just on the website but now we’re shifting to Facebook smaller Facebook groups that are attached and affiliated with a larger divorce support for men group.

But you’ll find the links for those Facebook groups on the website so now and it still hasn’t I haven’t made a complete transition now you go and you when you go to divorce dash men’s dash network.com/groups/you see the map and you see a list of different groups that’s gonna go away and this is going to become a list and links to Facebook groups so so my point is there will be some activity on the website at all times any any new episode comes out I’m gonna post there anyone that wants to wants to write blog post sometimes I write some very very

stuff very often or one for for my father when I turned 42 on my 45th birthday is sort of a tribute to him because he didn’t make it 45 And and so I’ll probably do some that stuff here and there but and there will be links to the discord for for guys to get into the discord. So

I guess my point is the website will always be some sort of a hub and thus that will generate some revenue.

And so Okay, so I got a piece here with podcast eventually adds revenue from that

revenue from the ads on the website, and of course merchandise. If you go to Rising Phoenix podcast.com You’ll see more urge at the top and click on that and get shirts, hats, coffee mugs, all kinds of shit. Not just for the podcast, but also for the website, there’s a straight out of marriage shirt on that on a website, which, as soon as I am fucking divorced, I will, I am going to buy that shirt for myself. And there’s all different kinds of combinations with white logos, red logos, black logos, white shirt, it’s, there’s, there’s so many fucking options, and I’m gonna do some other shirts have some ideas, just who the fuck has the time, but eventually I will get to that. And so merchandise is another piece and I’ve made some money there. Not a lot, again, very little at all. Also, on the website website of recommended reading is something where you go and you can you know, if you buy a book via that link, like I used to be miserable fuck, single on purpose, the John Kim books, a couple other books, I don’t know how many there are an ally, seven, eight, if you click on those and purchase, it’s their Amazon links, then I also get a cut, it’s honestly about 40 cents of book. So I’m not making a ton of money there either. But as time and exposure and all that kind of good stuff. That can be another piece another component. Again, these all these are all small pieces of something that can potentially allow me to live in this divorce support for men space. And lastly, and why I’m doing this episode and what we’re, what we’re talking about your promise, I’m gonna get to the focal point is coaching. And that’s that’s part of the why. The other part of the why is is I want to help, I think I’ve developed enough tools, and enough experience to get through this that I can now teach these things. And I have been through life coaching school, I went to John Kim school, I did take the Alpha code, which isn’t a coaching program, but it fucking taught me a lot in the program, I’m going to get to and explain at least the there’s two programs, I’ll get to the larger one. It’s largely based on the off code to be quite honest with you. It’s very, very similar. And not to take any anything away from the opcodes amazing program. But mine’s a little bit different, it’s a little bit longer, it’s obviously more centered around and surrounded by divorced men, whereas the off code is not a knock on the off code at all highly recommended if you’re thinking about it.

I couldn’t say a bad thing about it. My program is a little different. And but that doesn’t take away from the off code. It’s I definitely recommend that but but I think mine’s pretty fucking good too. So. So that’s the who the why and the what but also want to cover what does that mean for me going forward? Well, this podcast is not going to change this is not going to be a living breathing advertisement for my coaching program. That’s just not what’s going to happen. I am going to start doing some episodes about my coaching program. But that’s not what this podcast is going to turn into is it’s going to continue to be a resource for guys going through this I’m going to talk about my coaching program because I think that there will I don’t think that there are elements of that that will help you as well. And some of them have been gleaned from guests and experiences that I’ve had through this podcast and again I’ll get to that a promise so but I’m not changing as a person my motivation I still have a really good job. And I don’t my motivation to do this is to build it so I don’t have to have that other job but I have that other job so I don’t have pressure I’m not going to give you the hard sell I’ve couple people have reached out and asked me about my program and I’ve sent them information and I’m I’m not chasing them down that’s just not who I am. If I was dependent upon my mortgage payment being made for someone to hire me as a coach, then I probably would a little bit but that’s just it. That’s also not who I am Anyway, like I am in sales in my real job and I don’t I’m good at it because I don’t bug people. I’m not giving you the hard sell. I can tell you the good parts and I can answer any questions but I’m not going to chase anyone at this point and I just don’t think I would anyway to buy my coaching program is just just not who I am. So what is it so there are two programs one is the triage program and it’s it’s six weeks it’s it’s for guys just starting or guys that are really having trouble moving on and accepting and and it’s but but it’s really around the guys in the first couple of months I would say and you know timeframes are tricky, but I would say if you’re six months in then perhaps this would be a good program for you. I don’t I don’t know for sure that’s going to be based on you so so what is that it’s six weeks and I’ll get to the cost I’m not going to be one of those you know, email me and I’ll tell you how much it costs fuck all that I’ll tell you right here and right now as soon as I explained it all so So week one is the basics, eating and sleeping. I know for me, I didn’t eat or sleep well at fucking all initially. So we’re going to cover some of that we’re going to cover some of you’re going to get if you want

You can opt in to get text alerts that say, Hey, make sure you’re eating something today, whether that be even if you’re drinking Pedialyte, or what the fuck ever, you know, choking down some bread, make sure you get something in your stomach, that’s going to be you know, every, as often as you want in the beginning, once you start the program, and then you can, you can stop it at any time, it’s just to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself, at least in a bare minimum way, which is to get something in your stomach every day. And believe me when I say, and if you’re out there, and you’ve been through that been through this, you know, what I’m saying is true, it can be really fucking hard to have an appetite, to care about eating in the initial weeks going through this. So I can help you with that by reminding you and supporting you to make sure you get something in your stomach, the second week of the program, and I can get to the assignments soon, I’ll cover some of that stuff. The second week is about acceptance, it’s about letting go. And that’s really fucking hard. And you’re not going to go through week two of my triage program and accept it, you’re not, you’re going to get some tools to help you get to that point, eventually. And by the way, anything that I’m doing any of these programs, they’re not going to fix you. It’s not going to make everything all better, it is going to give you some tools and support that is specific to getting through it that I used. But it’s not a cure all. It’s not a panacea, I’m not selling you something that is going to take away all the hurt and pain that this is causing. I can’t do that no one can if anyone tells you that they’re full of shit. But what I can do is give you some tools and support to help you. So Week Three is processing emotions, this is a big one. This is also in the next program, which we’ll get to it’s also something I learned in the app Alpha code, it’s about dropping into your body, and feeling your emotions in your body. So you can help it helps you clear them and survive them. And not stay stuck in them to get you out of your head and into your body. It’s pretty pretty fucking important. The fourth week is info and podcasts. So we’ll be covering different books and specific chapters that have helped me with certain things. Podcasts episodes could be this podcast, it could be others, it will be things that will help you get through things to help you deal with whatever you’re struggling with specifically, then, probably mostly around acceptance. But there could be other things that pop up.

You know, I’m struggling with how to deal with kids. And we can talk about some books and some chapters and some podcast episodes that will help you. So that that would be week, week four, Week Five is is sort of more about

This is also important to help you deal with the trauma of things. And then the last week is rewriting your story. This is also week one of my my larger program, which I will get to next. And this is based on narrative therapy. And this is something that I personally went through with Dr. MC McDonald. She personally coached me, I think it was six weeks of narrative therapy. And I gotta tell you, man, it’s it was, for me, it was really, really was a game changer. That that makes it sound like a cure all but it was it was significantly helpful. For me dealing with some shit from my childhood, it was really, really helpful. So that’s, that’s the last and final week in the triage program. So what’s it cost, Michael? Good question. So, for the first and I know this is gonna sound gimmicky, I guess I apologize in advance, but I want to make sure I limit it to the right amount if if I get 500 people that sign up for this thing and by the way that there are more than 500 of you listening now from what I can see, which is I again, I’ll wait to the end of the year that gets to some of the numbers but holy fucking shit. But if that’s the case, I can’t help 500 Fucking people. So I want to I’m gonna leave it to the first five people that sign up for this program if they do, and I know this sounds very like fucking salesy, and I apologize for that. But it’s 300 bucks.

I think that what we are going through is that it is a forging it is a fire we our lives had been burned down. And we can look at it that in a few ways. And you can look at it as a Phoenix, right? Obviously, alright, you rise from the ashes, ashes become your fuel. But you also can look at it that your, the fire has made you molten, right like steel, and then you can be shaped into anything you want. Steel is hard, and it’s rigid. And it’s, you know, I don’t wanna say indestructible because that’s wrong, but it’s, you know, it’s obviously a tough fucking shit. It did build all kinds of shit with it, but they melt it in the beginning, right. And that’s what this program does, I think is that allows you to take a new shape become a new person. And so that’s why I choose that name. Obviously, it fits the sort of the Phoenix and the fire theme. But it also does allow you to be come something else in someone else. And I think that you’ll find through this 16 week program that you you will become someone else you will learn a fuck ton about yourself. So let’s start with week one. Oh, and by the way, so I’ll cover that at the end of week one is rewriting your story. It’s the same as Week Six of the triage program. It’s narrative therapy, it’s writing your story. And I won’t go into the details of all these weeks. I’ll do that in the future. And I was going to talk about that. But I stopped myself, we’ll talk about it later.

You’re going to rewrite your story, you’re gonna write it and you’re going to rewrite it. And I gotta tell you, man, this helped me a ton. Like I said, I worked with Dr. MC McDonnell. But this look up narrative therapy, it’s fucking, it really helped me. So that’s Week One. Week two is movement and motion. This is it’s really about getting into your body. But more in an exercise capacity. As Dr. MC McDonald says and episode 1820 minutes, a day of exercise is recommended when you’re going through a trauma. So that’s going to be part of it, it’s going to be talking about what types of exercise again, there’s accountability, a little bit with other guys in there that have had been through this program can help you and remind you or push you to make sure you’re doing your 20 minutes can be just walking, that’s fine. There are other and perhaps better ways, but 20 minutes every day. And we cover that in the week two, and I’ll get to the assignments I forgot, I’ll get to that yet. We three is processing emotions through your body. So again, it’s very similar to one that’s not very similar, it’s exactly the same. There’s a little bit more information, there’s breathing exercises and stuff in the triage program. But it’s it’s more about guilt, you’re sorry, that was similar to week three, not the not the not the breath work. So apologies. It’s it’s very similar, the opcode. Again, it’s getting out of your head and in your body. And there are assignments with all this stuff. And I’ll get to that. Week four is about connecting dots to your past, this is about finding things that you did wrong in the marriage, and try and connect that back to your past. And while you do that is to relieve some pressure off yourself to understand that you might have made mistakes and done some shitty things. But it’s not because you are a shitty person is because those are the skills or the tools or the habits that you had, and where did they come from? They come from your past. So it’s good to kind of connect those dots, it takes the pressure off yourself. And we do a lot of this program really is about introspection and reflection. And then talking about those things, talking about what you’re seeing and what you’re finding when you’re really taking a close look at yourself and in your entire life. So that is week four. Week five is shedding shame. So as I say, Shame does not survive sunlight. So it’s really about getting in front of your brothers on live videos and talking about your shame and shedding it and killing it because that’s what shame doesn’t survive sunlight. If you talk about it, it kills it. So that’s what really that week is about. Again, I’ll get to the assignments of promise but you got a little hint there, you’re gonna be doing some live videos, but it’s a closed group, completely closed, completely private. So

it is to your benefit to to talk about things that you’re ashamed of in a supportive environment so you can get rid of and kill that shame. The next the next week, Week Six is removing anchors to the past. This is a fun week for me. It can involve burning shit, which is is always fun, not houses, nothing like that. It’s more about finding, if you so choose, you can burn things you don’t have to, you know, not everyone’s a pyromaniac like myself, I guess. But it’s about taking things that remind you of your old life and getting rid of them. So it can be pictures of your ex up on your wall, get fucking rid of that thing. It could be a jacket that she bought, you get fucking rid of that thing. It’s about removing things that are anchoring you into your past. And so I really enjoy that week, I really enjoy seeing people shedding their and getting rid of their their anchors, it’s really, it’s really fucking awesome. Week Seven was about identifying specific negative behavior. So this is, you know, again, there’s some journaling involved in this program, I forgot to mention that it’s, it’s, it’s really about this, that week seven was really about finding out specifically as you can, what are the things that you did wrong, you know, you gave the silent treatment, but when what specifically it’s really about sort of identifying your triggers, I guess, in some ways, but also just some shit that you did that just you want to change, or it was brought to your attention. And you got to be careful with that. But by her got to be careful with that, but but that is a source of data. So it’s about being specific, though about those things. Because if you get specific about your negative behaviors, you can then do some, some specific you can take some specific actions in order to, to, to make changes really, the other sorry, the other thing, the next week, we gate is about catching your negative thoughts. This is again, journaling is important when you have negative thought write it down. And this allows you to do a couple of things. One, it allows you to see specifically what are these negative thoughts. Again, specific specificity is so very fucking important. So then you know, and you might be able to start seeing a thread to by the way, you write your story and see all these negatives, and then you start paying attention to how this makes you think and feel and what you’re thinking and feeling and you’re journaling. And you’re writing that writing these things down and you can connect it to the past and then you can get specific about it. It’s it’s really is about self reflection, introspection and taking a really hard, really good hard look at yourself. So once you catch these negative thoughts, that’s, that’s step one. It’s sort of in that changing your mindset process. If you don’t know how to catch your negative thoughts, if you don’t know how to stop and recognize Oh, shit, I wasn’t going to be never gonna get to the other portion, which is changing that negative thought so So step one, and that process is it’s catching them that and then that is covered in week eight of the program. week nine is acceptance and change. As you go through this process, you’re gonna learn a lot about yourself. And you might realize there’s some things you just have to accept. I don’t know what those are, that’s up to you to decide. But that’s where you sort of make some determinations and you ask yourself some questions. Is this something I really want to change? Or can I accept it? And that’s what what that week is kind of all about. The next week is about responsibility week 10 responsibility control. Now you’ve decided, okay, I want to make changes about this. Are you taking full responsibility? And can you take full responsibility, because some things you can’t control. So you want to make sure if you’re making a decision about changing something, make sure it’s within your control, you can say I want to change my co parenting relationship, okay, you can do something, you can control how you do how you behave, but you can’t control her. So it’s just about checking in and making sure because you don’t want to set yourself up for failure, you don’t want to say, I’m gonna change a co parenting relationship, and then she remains difficult and shitty, and then you feel like a failure. And at the end of the day, you can’t control her. So it’s just that way, it’s all about just getting clarity and making sure. And then week 11 is about taking action, okay? You’re, you’re you’ve decided and you’ve taken responsibility, you control, you know, your, your actions, your your responsibilities, and you’re going to take action. And this is because you got so specific with some of these things, you can take specific actions. If it is a co parenting relationship, and you realize you’re half of it, you can start taking steps to

make sure that that relationship gets to the point where you want it to be, you can say, you know, I want to set a boundary and make sure and boundaries are covered in this too. But you know, or at least you want to make sure that you don’t yell at her at certain points or whatever, you know what I’m saying? You can get specific and then you start taking specific actions. Okay, so I want to not yell well, why did I Yeah, well, it looks like here, you know, looking back at some of these weeks, you know, when she does this, that’s what I do. And why is that? Well, because it reminds me of my parents or whatever. And so then you can start saying, Okay, well, how do I avoid this? What do I do? What actions can I take to to make sure I don’t get to the point where I do yell or to recognize again, catching negative thoughts. You can get good at catching thoughts. Oh, shit, that here comes again. I’m starting to feel like I’m gonna start yelling. What can I do? Okay, I’m gonna walk away. And boundaries, again is covered in that sort of part of this but you start taking specific action to change specific Thanks. So that’s week 11. Week 12 is a little bit of a break from doing a lot of self reflection is called connecting with others. And that requires you to reach out to some folks, either some folks from your past and catch them up on your life, old friends, or reach out to some folks that have helped you through this could be guys in the support group and just say, hey, thank you, I appreciate you, it just gets you to recognize that other folks in your life are important. And you need to make the effort to reach out and connect with them. It’s really critical to your life. And so the other part of the next part of that in some kind of ways, we 13 is setting boundaries. So if you reach out to someone who was an asshole in your past, but you want to try and make up or reconcile or whatever, you still have to have boundaries and make sure that they don’t hurt you again. And so setting boundaries is definitely a critical and key component to relationships, period. And so we’ll cover that in week 13. Week 14 is about attachment styles and love languages, it’s about sort of learning more about how you interact with other people, how you feel loved, how you feel appreciated, what are the things that can cause issues in your relationship, your future relationship, that is definitely a requirement. By the way, if you’re in the forge, BY FIRE program, you can’t date unless you’re already dating, that’s fine. But you have to stop serial dating, while you’re going through this program. It’s four months, I promise you, your penis won’t fall off, you’re gonna be okay. So no dating wire in the program. So that’s week 14, it’s really about learning about your attachment style, so that you can use that knowledge to further or strengthen a relationship. You can say, hey, I get my, my attachment style is a bit anxious, and it’s, you know, I’m getting anxious when this happens. And you know, could you help me through that, or whatever, whatever scenario it is, you know, I’d like to get text once an hour, I don’t know if that’s appropriate, but you work with another person that you can work with them because you know where you are and who you are. So that’s, that’s week 14. Week 15 is defining your values that’s really important. The values are so few know who you are, and what your values are, can shape you it can it can allow you knowledge to make informed decisions. So if someone says, I don’t know, hey, do you want to take a fucking road trip or you know, go backpacking, and you’re like, well, connection is important value to me, and I’m sure that will be a connecting experience. So yeah, let’s do that. Or if you’re like, that’s just has no interest to you, it’s connection, there’s not a value. Maybe there’s some other value. You know, if you have a decision to make about, you know, should I go backpacking with this dude or go to a homeless shelter and help feed the homeless people and and, you know, connection or love is, is a part of your value system, then you would choose the one that best fits your value. So but first you have to define them, it’s like anything, it’s you have to figure out what are my values. And so that’s what week 15 does. And then week 16 Last week is his new goal setting it’s okay, we’ve gotten through this bucket program, and it’s long haul for four months is a long time but and it’s there are going to be moments when you’re you’re going to hate the process. Like you’re gonna, you’re gonna dig up some things, you’re gonna deal with some things but when you get to the end, you’re going to feel invigorated, because you’ve done something, you want to raise your self esteem, get some shit done, this is going to get some shit done. And then when you get to the end, you’re going to feel like you achieve something. And that’s going to launch you to set a new goal for something in your life and like any goal that you want to achieve, has to be specific. So that’s what cover is covered in week 16. So that is it. That is the forest by fire program. If you’re interested, please reach out you can get me at Michael at divorce dash men’s dash network.com Thank you so much for watching and or listening.

Thank you to Nick coil and lifer for allowing me to use their song born again what you’re hearing now and at the intro to the podcast. Thank you to Justin Dillahunty and all of my brothers at the Alpha code. Please visit the website Rising Phoenix podcast.com to connect with me and other like minded men who are looking to thrive and grow after their divorce. And remember to surround yourself with people who add value to your life who challenge you to be greater than you were yesterday to sprinkle magic into your existence like you do to theirs. Life is not meant to be done alone. Find your tribe.

Take care So what’s what’s it going to cost the this program is just like the other one, there are going to be tears in terms of the first five will be 500 bucks, one time upfront payment will get you into the program. If you want to pay monthly, it will, it will go to 600 bucks a month because of adding 25 bucks a month to the cost. So it’d be $600 total, again for the first five. And then for the second five, it’d be 750 bucks if you want to pay that one one time, or you can pay it monthly. And again, that would jack it up to 850. So that’s it, that’s the cost. That’s the overview. So going forward the next couple of months, going to do episodes, probably the probably be shorter, that we’ll cover each week in a little little bit more detail. It will give you hopefully a better snapshot of the program. But it also it it covers things that are relevant to going through this. So it’s not just me, it’s partially an advertisement for the plan, I suppose. But it really is good content. Because if I talk about shedding shame, if I talk about an episode about how to do that, and some of the things and the wise and maybe I can find some studies and and and bring some data to it, I can explain why it’s a good thing to get in a group of men to do a live video and talk about things you’re ashamed of and how fucking beneficial that is. So you’ll see over the next probably I don’t know, I’m not going to do the next 16 episodes and rowers are not going to be on my coaching program, that’s just not going to happen. A I already have some recorded that I need to edit and get out and be. I don’t love doing solo episodes. I shouldn’t say I haven’t loved them. I’m starting to enjoy it a little bit more. But I also don’t like to force them to do them when I feel there is need so and I also don’t think quite frankly, you don’t need to hear each week in detail to decide that you want to start this program. If you want to reinvent yourself by learning and changing yourself, then this program is for you. For sure. Again, it’s not going to fix you. I can’t fix you no fucking bloody conflict. You can fix you Not me. Not anybody else. Not no program. No. No. Coach is going to do that if people can help but it’s going to be up to you to dig in. And so speaking of digging in digging in the assignments are you’re mostly you’re going to be doing live videos you’re going to what are you going to do You know, a lot of reflection and introspection, and you’re going to think about some questions for the week, like, you know, when you rewrite your story, when you, you’re going to write, write it first. And you’re going to be as honest as you can, and as brutal as you can, like, where did you fuck up in this? You’re going to ask yourself some some hard questions. What did I do wrong? What was my part in this? Because by the way, if you read if you write your story, and it’s just wow, she’s a liar, and she’s a cheater, and she did this, and she did that I can’t help you, you can’t help you, nobody can help you. And that isn’t to say that she had no part in it. We’ve covered that before you guys know this. But it’s to say that this is what I have. This is what I brought to the table, this is what I fucked up in Thus, this is the only thing that I can do. This is what I can work on is these things here. So you’re gonna, you’re gonna ask yourself a lot of questions, you’re going to be brutally honest. But that’s awesome. Because that gives you insight into what you need to change. And so that’s, that’s sort of the point of the program. And I hope that many of you take it, quite frankly, and not because I need to make money. To be quite honest with you the money that would come I’ll probably put right back into all of this, I have done zero ads for the website, I have done, I haven’t done ad for the podcast, and I don’t even know year and a half, maybe I think the first six months of the podcast, I did like a Facebook ad, I might have done a Google ad to just for like, a month or two. So it would probably be a lot of that. It also will be put into the Horseman’s network groups that are being created to create some literature and pamphlets and stuff. And I do at some point, still plan on writing a book to help us through this, but not I don’t know, originally, I wasn’t I had no interest. And I’m still struggling with that. But I do think I would like to put out something and maybe it’ll just be a pamphlet. But once we get into these divorcement network meetings, we’re gonna have to figure out what are we talking about. I’m not talking about writing the big book, The AAA version of this, but, but something of that nature, but more a guidebook for meetings, and I have some ideas around that and stuff, and that’ll happen,

eventually, but that’s where the money’s probably would go. Unless there is an overwhelming amount of you. And, you know, maybe I’ll buy myself a nice dinner. But at this point, I’d like to grow this thing. And make it something that would allow me to not have to work a typical bullshit job or corporate America if I’m being honest. So but like I said, I’m I don’t have to do this, I want to. And so because I don’t have to, you’re not going to I’m not going to cram it down your throat. I’m just not going to do that. I’ll probably make a post today and divorce divorce support for men Facebook group, sort of announcing, you know, here’s the here’s the episode. And here’s some info on the coaching program. Oh, by the way, there is a website rising up. Sorry, Rising Phoenix divorce coach.com. You’ll, it’s very basic. It’s literally like two pages. It does give you an overview of the programs. It, it explains everything. I don’t think I have the cost in there. And it wasn’t. I don’t I don’t like to be that kind of person. So I wasn’t trying to intentionally hide it, clearly. But so if you if you have other questions, or you need if you want to read over everything that I read, which I can. Sure you can probably tell I was reading, if you’re watching this on YouTube, you could tell that I was reading some because that’s like, what is that 22 weeks worth of shit that I had to remember. So I printed it out. But if you want to read essentially what I did print out, just go to Rising Phoenix divorce coach.com. And if you want to learn more, you can also schedule a call there a zoom call, we can get together and talk just to make sure it is a good fit. Maybe it isn’t. Again, I don’t I don’t need to do this. So I don’t want to do it for people that wouldn’t fit the program. I don’t want your money if if you’re if we’re not on the same page with certain things or if I suspect maybe you’re not going to be committed because I want to help you but I can’t help you if you’re not committed. So let’s make sure we’re on the same page. You can schedule a call and you can ask anything again you can always I’m sure a lot of your friends on Facebook with me you can always reach out there Michael at divorce dash men’s dash network.com You can also email me there so that’s it. That’s it for this one. I hope you’re all well. I do have a few more recorded and they will be coming out in the relatively near future. I have to figure out editing I lost my editor. I don’t know where he went. So if any of you out there edit videos and want to help, that would be great. I can pay you a lot but I can’t. I can’t pay you. You know reach out Again, at the previously mentioned email, so it’s all got continue to reach out continue to ask for and provide support if you need it. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.

Episode 83 – Coach? – Solo

https://www.risingphoenixpodcast.com

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