I am 47. I live in Virginia, Hampton Roads area. I grew up in South Dakota. I retired from the Navy after 22 years. The best description of my marital status is legally separated. Married 27 years. Four children (Girl, 19 Three girls, 16). My STBX had a 4 plus year emotional/physical affair.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/theron-andersen-84441045I am 47. I live in Virginia, Hampton Roads area. I am retired Navy. The best description of my marital status is legally separated. Married 27 years. Four children (Girl, 19 Three girls, 16) My story. We are both from South Dakota and were back home for Christmas in December of 2016. I noticed that my STBX was spending a lot of time on her phone typing something. She had put a passcode on her phone, which she had never done before. She told me that the passcode was on there to prevent our 2 year old niece from 'calling China' I didn't question this because it made sense to me. I came across the conversations kind of by accident. I happened to be looking over her shoulder when she responded to a message from him. One night she told me she was going to have dinner with some girlfriends from high school. She was logged into Facebook on our laptop, after she left I went into her Facebook account and looked at the messages. She was actually going to see him, and not girlfriends. As I did more digging through the messages, it became clear that the conversations were not appropriate and they had been going on for a couple of months. I didn't let on that I knew about the conversations, but I became more aware of what she was doing on her phone. I continued to collect evidence of the conversations. A couple of nights before we flew back to Virginia, she again told me she was meeting some girlfriends, but in fact was going to see him. I confronted her the night before we flew out. She told me she was sorry and the conversations would stop. Later in January 2017, February 2017, and March 2017 we had the same conversation, but things stayed the same. In October 2017, she flew home to surprise her mother on her birthday. She flew home two days before her mom's birthday to meet this guy and sleep with him. Over the next few years we had multiple conversations about her relationship with this guy. We tried counseling. Early this year, I finally came to the realization that she wasn't going to stop talking to this other guy. I started the process to divorce. In Virginia, we have to be separated for 1 year, (with kids) before filing. I will be able to file in December.